What do you call a cow with no arms and no legs?

Dinner.

Sorry. Weak, I know. Not even a joke really. It's hot, gimme a break.

After the lion cub funeral yesterday, we had to feed the big lions.

First, we had to shoot a cow in the face. Seriously. Normally, we try to use cows that have already passed, but this becomes difficult as we do not know what they have died from and do not want to feed a diseased cow to our lions. (even though lions have the most amazing digestive system)

Second, after the twitching stops, we (not me, not ever me in a million cadrillion years) have to cut off the arms and the legs. We will then freeze the limbs and feed them to the lion cubs. One limb every other day.

Third, we need to drive the remains of the cow to the Lion Enclosure.




Fourth, I try not to puke in my mouth at the overwhelming aroma of hot stinking dead cow.




Fifth, we rig the gate with wire so that dude can open it from behind the fence without the lions eating him too.




Then, we haul ass into the Lion enclosure. We try to go fast, 1. so the lions do not attack the truck, reaching in the windows trying to give us all a haircut and 2. because if the lions pull the carcass off right in front of the gate we will be trapped.

That day, the alpha male, Tao, (who lays claim to grabbing the body from the truck) chased us only 20-30 feet from the gate before he jumped on and dragged the cow from the back of the truck. Bloody mess. It looked like the cow just sliiiped right off, but Tao is freeakin strong and dug his nails and teeth into the body pretty good to drag it from the truck.




Andrew, who was in the truck with me, has the video of this going down. Its insane and funny, because all you can hear in the back ground are lion growls and me repeating, "ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod."

Once the body is on the ground, the alpha female will guard it while Tao tries to find out whether there is any more food or not(by chasing us around in the truck). When he returns to the cow, the alpha female moves over so he can eat first. When he is full, the alpha female eats, and so on down the line. If there are cubs, they will get the scraps. They get most of their sustainance from their mothers milk.




Normally, the second male would eat after the alpha female, but in this enclosure, he is the outcast (he is pretty mangledlooking too)so he eats last.

After the lions feast, they sleep for 5-7 days. Here is a picture of Tao chillin in the shade.





Our lions are on sale for 10 million rand (+/- depending on age and sex). Zoos will purchase the lions as well as game hunters. Yeah, thats right, some rich dude will buy a lion to hunt it for sport.

Pretty expensive challenge.