London has been kickflipped.

Hey Guys!

I am finally in Jo-Burg, SA. Getting here was a bunch of fun! Actually, it wasn't and that is a huge lie. HUGE.

I thought it would be a piece of cake flying from Logan to Heathrow. I didnt have any drugs(illegal) or firearms ( however, the blue lady did inspect my pen with unusual suspect). I even went beltless, which helped me to get through the metal detector with ease, but was problematic later on in my airport adventure. I wont get into that.

I had special pills, Nyquil, and Advil PM, pumping through my system, yet lacked the ability to sleep. I worked on #9 on my list and played "Bombs over Baghdad" on repeat. I read a trashy magazine but it wasnt the same without having someone next to me to point out the most ridiculous stories/fashion statements/ anything involving Lady Gaga.

The damn book I carried on was my new enemy, getting in the way of everything i really needed. When was the last time I even read a book? I decided to read it purely out of spite. But, setting it on fire was not out of the question.

I landed in Heathrow a complete zombie. I sat backwards on the train to London by accident and thought about that time I got sick at that carnival on that ride after I ate that Rice Krispy Treat cereal.

But for some reason I felt the need, after not a moment of sleep, to ride around London in a bright red double decker bus. I did not see one famous person. But did see the London Eye, a huge ferris wheel built for the millenium. Also, Big Ben (which is the bell BTW not the clock) And just to let everyone know, the London Bridge is FINE, it is not falling down at all.

Everything is "dodgy" and "mad". I told the wall to "dodge this" before I kicked flipped the hell out of it. Note to self: Add Kick flip something in every major city to list of things to do before i die.

I sat at the restuarant for a while and every person who sat beside me ordered fish and chips. seriously. It was not cool.

Another uncool part about Heathrow was that i had to pay to use the toilet. Well, I actually had to buy a diet coke to make change to pay to use the toilet. Which doesnt seem reasonable to me at this very moment. I dropped my shirt on the floor of the bathroom and immediately threw it away. Ew airport bathroom floor. Ew.

After i used the toilet, i loitered in the bathroom for a few minufes, just to make sure i got my moneys worth. 3 Pounds and a shirt. Thats MAD.

On the plane to SA, I thought for a hot second that i had the whole row to myself. How FREAKIN COOL RIGHT? I went to stretch out across all three seats, and just as i was about to pass out ( i hadnt slept in over 30 hours at this point) some dude sat on my feet! Literally, his ass touched my foot. It was gross. That wasnt even his seat. I assumed the one ticket holder in the row automatically absorbed the rights to the nearest seats if those seats at any point become vacant.
He ended up letting me use his cell phone after we landed so that I could call the Backpackers Ritz where i was staying. He was really nice and i felt bad for cursing him for the past ten hours.

When i got to the Ritz it was 9am and i had slept for 5 hours in the last two days. I passed out from 9 to 8pm when i woke up just to eat dinner... chicken potjie with apricot (i still cant figure out if that is a misspelling on their part or if potjie is some secret african dish ) Either way it was delicious. It had rained all day and i justified my catching up on sleep with the fact that i probably wouldnt have done anything anyway. Then I went back to sleep until the morning.
Today I went to SOWETO.
But I will tell you about that later. Some dude just walked in and his cologne is rank.